With the baseball season just now hitting the 20-game mark, New York baseball fans are already beginning their yearly ritual of whining about their teams’ poor starts. There are complaints about pitching staff and lack of depth, “clutch” hitting and lack of “heart.” These fans need to shut up. Our New York teams have some of the best talent in baseball. New York baseball fans should be happy their to follow great franchises and not the red-headed step child of baseball. They should be happy they are not following a team that’s so hilarious in their utter horribleness and disorganization. Ladies and gentleman, your 2009 Washington Nationals!
1. Don’t let some decent early season numbers fool you, the Nationals only have a few legitimate major league hitters, and even they have issues. Nick Johnson has a scheduled DL vacation every year. Franchise savior Ryan Zimmerman has recorded worse numbers every year of his career. Elijah Dukes is always injured and is a legitimately insane human being, and Washington’s two most recent prize acquisitions (Josh Willingham and Lasting Milledge) are seen as a huge disappointment and lazy.
As thoroughly weak as the Nationals offense is, their pitching staff is absolutely horrendous. Washington has received only four wins from its starting pitching staff, and no one besides phenom Jordan Zimmerman has an ERA under 4.42. The current starting pitching rotation has no one with more than 49 career wins. As poor as the starting rotation is, the bullpen is historically weak. Four relievers currently have an ERA over 8.00 and have blown six of eight save opportunities, with their closer having given up three homers and five walks in nine innings. This is a staff whose best-known pitcher is probably Daniel Cabrera, King of the Walk an holder of a 5.04 career ERA. Imagine never having faith in your team to hold the lead. Imagine having the only pitcher you trust be a 23-year old with two career starts. This is what Nationals fans have to deal with. Suddenly, the saga of Oliver Perez seems so minor.
The Nationals have no means for promoting this team. Their history is so pathetic that the most effective “favorite moment” fan video they can create futures an immortal victory by virtue of a bases-loaded walk off walk by Elijah Dukes. Have you ever experienced the “thrill” of a walk-off walk? It’s the least exciting scoring play in baseball. As a fan, you feel let down, like the other team just decided to give up and go home. What a boring, boring win. Just remember this, New York fans. The Yankees have won 26 championships. The Mets have the Amazin’s. The Nationals have “The Walk Heard ‘Round a Half-Empty Stadium.”
The Washington Nationals are fascinating in the Mickey Mouse operation that oversees the team. This is a franchise that forces its best player to go on the field with the “O” missing in Nationals. Apparently, Adam Dunn can serve the team by taking their money and spending his career in baseball purgatory, but Washington can’t give its only All-Star a proper uniform. You can only imagine how Dunn’s slowly loosing his will playing for a franchise that, according to estimation, was only able to hold roughly 100 fans during a rain delay on a recent home date. The Nationals have only been in Washington for five years, in a city that was desperate for baseball for 30, and yet the fans have already abandoned a team on pace for 100 losses for the second straight year. Then again, when the organization uses tacky approaches like holding fireworks after games and having a presidential mascot race, (like Miwaulkee’s sausage race, but way more lame) why would the fans show up? This isn’t minor league ball, folks. The huge boil on Lincoln’s face is weird, not funny. If fans want to go see that, then they can head down to a minor league game. The prices are cheaper, and the players are better.
Elijah Dukes. Lastings Miledge. Both have five tool talent, yet both come across as idiots who haven’t reached their potential. Milledge was ran off the Mets for being acting like an immature punk and now suddenly stinks. Dukes is a lovely young man who’s been convicted of assault and battery and manages to get himself fined even when helping out Little Leaguers, yet keeps getting MLB chances due to his “potential.” Will Dukes have the 30-30 season he’s capable of, or will he go crazy and beat up a fan? Will Milledge stick in MLB and have a strong year, or will he again record a vulgar rap song and piss off his team? In a season that will be long and very, very depressing, this duo will be fascinating to watch.
1. Don’t let some decent early season numbers fool you, the Nationals only have a few legitimate major league hitters, and even they have issues. Nick Johnson has a scheduled DL vacation every year. Franchise savior Ryan Zimmerman has recorded worse numbers every year of his career. Elijah Dukes is always injured and is a legitimately insane human being, and Washington’s two most recent prize acquisitions (Josh Willingham and Lasting Milledge) are seen as a huge disappointment and lazy.
As thoroughly weak as the Nationals offense is, their pitching staff is absolutely horrendous. Washington has received only four wins from its starting pitching staff, and no one besides phenom Jordan Zimmerman has an ERA under 4.42. The current starting pitching rotation has no one with more than 49 career wins. As poor as the starting rotation is, the bullpen is historically weak. Four relievers currently have an ERA over 8.00 and have blown six of eight save opportunities, with their closer having given up three homers and five walks in nine innings. This is a staff whose best-known pitcher is probably Daniel Cabrera, King of the Walk an holder of a 5.04 career ERA. Imagine never having faith in your team to hold the lead. Imagine having the only pitcher you trust be a 23-year old with two career starts. This is what Nationals fans have to deal with. Suddenly, the saga of Oliver Perez seems so minor.
The Nationals have no means for promoting this team. Their history is so pathetic that the most effective “favorite moment” fan video they can create futures an immortal victory by virtue of a bases-loaded walk off walk by Elijah Dukes. Have you ever experienced the “thrill” of a walk-off walk? It’s the least exciting scoring play in baseball. As a fan, you feel let down, like the other team just decided to give up and go home. What a boring, boring win. Just remember this, New York fans. The Yankees have won 26 championships. The Mets have the Amazin’s. The Nationals have “The Walk Heard ‘Round a Half-Empty Stadium.”
The Washington Nationals are fascinating in the Mickey Mouse operation that oversees the team. This is a franchise that forces its best player to go on the field with the “O” missing in Nationals. Apparently, Adam Dunn can serve the team by taking their money and spending his career in baseball purgatory, but Washington can’t give its only All-Star a proper uniform. You can only imagine how Dunn’s slowly loosing his will playing for a franchise that, according to estimation, was only able to hold roughly 100 fans during a rain delay on a recent home date. The Nationals have only been in Washington for five years, in a city that was desperate for baseball for 30, and yet the fans have already abandoned a team on pace for 100 losses for the second straight year. Then again, when the organization uses tacky approaches like holding fireworks after games and having a presidential mascot race, (like Miwaulkee’s sausage race, but way more lame) why would the fans show up? This isn’t minor league ball, folks. The huge boil on Lincoln’s face is weird, not funny. If fans want to go see that, then they can head down to a minor league game. The prices are cheaper, and the players are better.
Elijah Dukes. Lastings Miledge. Both have five tool talent, yet both come across as idiots who haven’t reached their potential. Milledge was ran off the Mets for being acting like an immature punk and now suddenly stinks. Dukes is a lovely young man who’s been convicted of assault and battery and manages to get himself fined even when helping out Little Leaguers, yet keeps getting MLB chances due to his “potential.” Will Dukes have the 30-30 season he’s capable of, or will he go crazy and beat up a fan? Will Milledge stick in MLB and have a strong year, or will he again record a vulgar rap song and piss off his team? In a season that will be long and very, very depressing, this duo will be fascinating to watch.
Be the first to comment on this article!